Thursday, March 15, 2012

not so fast...

Now that's ironic. I started a blog about moving, finding a home, settling in and making it our own (the very act of which means I am accepting all of these changes a bit, right?) only to have my dear one come home one day with a look on his face that told me to sit down. What's that? We're barely unpacked and your office might be relocating, we might be relocating with it and we won't know for awhile?

So much for that settled, at-home feeling.

Since "awhile" could have meant anytime in the next year I was left with that dull, hollow feeling of existing without really making long term plans. Of wondering is we should scratch the garden and cut back on the improvements to the house. Everything was so temporary again.
On the other hand, boy-oh-boy, was I getting a lesson on living in the moment. And let's face it, that's a lesson the universe has been trying to teach me for quite some time now.

And what about this blog? This brand-new, one post-so-far blog? It could slip away quite easily. No one knew it was here yet, it could just tip-toe out the way it slipped in and all would go on as if it never existed. But that thought made me sad. Like not getting to finish a book that looked promising.

But finally word came that we can stay put. I type that with one very long, grounding, sigh of relief. Improvements and landscaping can go on with more than just re-sale in mind. Friendships have a chance to form roots strong enough to hold when the inevitable move does come again one day. But I think what I love best of all is the quiet rhythm of the days that I get to picture stretching out ahead of us. What we picture in our minds is seldom what reality holds but I do love and cherish that picture, nonetheless.

And don't think I'm not laughing at myself a little. I came here kicking and screaming only to kick and scream all over again when I'm told I might not get to stay? But, you see, it's "home"...wherever and's "home" I really want. And it looks like, for the next little while anyway, that's just what we have here.

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