Thursday, January 31, 2013



This smallest babe of mine will only be two for a little while longer. Less than a week, really. And that is causing all sorts of mixed emotions and bittersweet feelings in her mama's heart.

Today I watched her nap, trying to memorize every detail of her... just as she is, right now. Trying to just be in the moment with her. But even so, I still saw glimpses of her newborn face... bringing memories of her birth rushing back to my mind in the most powerful way. And I also saw the shadow of a bigger girl... just below the surface, just out of reach. The face she'll wear after a few more birthdays.

And then I looked at her... curled up with the blanket I made before she was even born. Before I ever knew she would be born and, somehow, that tied all the days together. Somehow, my hands making that blanket, years ago, for a baby I only wished for, made everything seem so connected that I couldn't feel the angst I had been feeling. I just felt like everything was as it should be.

Of course it is......just look at that face.

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