silence...

Since creating this space of my own, this small blog that feels so much like chatting with a friend over coffee, I've noticed that sometimes I go silent, and for longer than I'd like. There was a time, much much closer than I'd like to admit, that I would have found this quite distressing, or at the very least, annoying.

I would have over analyzed it, I would have worried about it, I would have felt like something tangible was slipping away.

But over the last week or so, as this space called to me, none of those old reactions surfaced. This time I just gently said "not yet" and carried on. Carried on with a life that is working itself out, all the while thinking, mulling, absorbing so much behind the scenes.

This may not seem life altering but let me tell you, this is HUGE. This, my friends, is the tiniest beginning of self-acceptance. Of realizing that it is just who I am and how I work. Of actually appreciating and living in the moment. Of recognizing that, at times, silence and hanging back are just what I need and embracing that realization. Accepting that introspection and introversion do not make me invisible.

I may be quiet at times, I might even disappear for a bit, but I'm still here.

Right where I need to be.